The Pros and Cons

Posted Monday, June 08, 2009

As with any job, there are pros and cons to Motherhood. And with any luck, your list of pros outweighs your list of cons, which is how your children manage to live for another day.

Surprisingly, being a stay-at-home-mom isn't all that different from my previous jobs in Corporate America; my boss is younger than me, knows more than I do and tends to make outrageous demands on my time. You want me to do your laundry, chauffeur you to preschool, pick up your room and make you lunch? All before noon? I nod and smile and hope that all of this leads to a promotion called Grandma, in about 20 years. This can also be secretly referred to as Payback and is high on the Pro List. Play your cards right and you can parlay that promotion into Great Grandma and be the CEO and Monarch over all your subjects. You will be "The Godmother" and know all. Of course, we all know you hold this power now but you exercise it sparingly in order to give your kids a false sense of hope because it's more fun when you yank the rug out from under them later. This is also high on the Pro List.

Unfortunately, your kids will eventually become teenagers and any way you spin it, this is a big Con. While they'll want to spend less time with you, be able to drive themselves around and hopefully start making their own money (yes all big Pros) they'll continue to mooch room and board, become experts of knowledge and cause you insomnia while you wait up all night for them to come home. *sigh* Con. But this is when the power of The Motherhood can be fun. The punishments are better at this age. TV? Gone. Cell phone? Disabled. Car? Hahahaha, yeah, that's mine and you can't drive it. Pro. Pro. Pro.

So this Mother's Day, I will personally revel in the fact that while my bosses may be big pains in my @$$ at times, they are still blissfully unaware of the power that Motherhood has given me. And I think I shall let them survive yet another day because the future could be fun and despite it all, I still inexplicably love them. But oh how the tables will turn. Mwahahahahaha....ha.

You Can't Scare Me tee from signaturetshirts

Originally posted 5/10/09 here

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