Your "Friend" Card Has Been Revoked

Posted Monday, October 05, 2009

I'm on notice and have been informed that...SweetPea is no longer my friend. Well, for about 10 minutes the other day, anyway. I can only imagine she picked up that gem of a phrase at school. It's certainly nothing we would say here at home and there isn't a show I can think of on TV that I'd let her watch that would use it either. Regardless of where she heard it...I was on the receiving end of it. What inspired her to revoke the friend privilege? If I remember correctly, SweetPea was playing learning games on the computer and I told her that she'd had enough and that she needed to find something else to play with. Clearly that wasn't a popular decision. To be honest, it's not the first time she's told me "Mommy, you're not my friend". That honor came when I told her that I couldn't take her to China. Am I a mean mom or what?

After the first time, I tried to tell her she wasn't being very nice and that it hurt my feelings when she told me that she didn't want to be my friend. I told her that I loved HER and that sometimes, even though she might do something that didn't make me happy, that I'd always be her friend. I'll admit, that first time, it did hurt my feelings, if just a little, even though I understood that she was saying it because she was angry that I told her no. Eventually she apologized and told me that I was "still her friend". I thought the lesson was learned...until the other day we had a repeat performance...and not only did she tell me that she wasn't my friend, but she rambled off a list of people who WERE her friends...but not me..."Lil Buddy's my friend...Baby Rosa (her teddy bear) is my friend...Queen Narissa (her stuffed, purple dragon) is my friend...Maw Maw is my friend...Grammy is my friend...but you aren't my friend". This time, I had to keep myself from laughing. I don't know why, but it was funny. So again...we have the talk. This time she doesn't say much, but about 5 minutes later she begs me to help her with something and I shoot back "well, you know, if I was your friend, I'd help, but since I'm not your friend, I'm not sure why you'd want me to help you." Voila...we're friends again.

At the end of the day, I know that what she's trying to tell me is that she's not happy about something I've told her. Obviously, saying "no" isn't always going to be popular, but it is a necessary evil. The funny thing...I think it's finally setting in. Yesterday afternoon, SweetPea was getting very frustrated that something wasn't working right for her and she asked me for help...then got mad that what I did to help was NOT what she wanted me to do...she threw a mini fit and I sent her to her room...which of course made her REALLY mad. When I went to talk to her in her room she told me "Mommy, you made me very upset and I'm sad"...which in the long run, is what I think she meant all along by "you're not my friend anymore". And to think...we still have the teenage years...UGH!

Re-posted from The Mama Dramalogues


Jenica said...

Awe, I haven't been told this yet, but I remember when my best friend was. I'm sure it does hurt. I don't doubt that I'll hear it sometime in the future. I think you handled it very well!

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